PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Because the Russian invasion of Ukraine continues to come across difficulties, Donald J. Trump has suggested Vladimir Putin “simply to say that he received.”
“He must get on TV and say that he’s the winner,” Trump stated. “He ought to say that he had a victory in Ukraine such as you wouldn’t consider.”
Trump stated that the Russian President ought to maintain rallies throughout the nation to inform his supporters that he received however that his victory had been stolen from him.
“I believed Putin was good, however possibly he’s not so good in spite of everything,” Trump stated. “If he doesn’t say he received, he’s some type of silly dummy.”
Trump stated that, since his calls to the Russian chief saved going straight to voice mail, he left Putin a suggestion of what he ought to inform the Russian individuals.
“All he must say is, ‘Frankly, we did win this invasion,’ ” Trump stated.