How to Read More Than Everyone Else, or Seem Like You Do


Inform your circle of shut mates that you just have been barred from the library for studying an excessive amount of, too quickly, too rapidly. Inform them that you just’re embarrassed. Ask them to maintain {that a} secret.

When you should fake to have learn a selected e-book, do your finest to maintain it imprecise. Use numerous adjectives, till you’ve impressed your viewers with how deeply you’ve thought concerning the e-book. “ ‘Regular Folks’? I wouldn’t say regular in any respect, not one bit, I might say acerbic, blistering, chilling, devastating, explosive, faultless, gutting, honey-toned, insistent,” and so forth.

If you happen to meet a author, say that you’ve a podcast about books. They may routinely proceed to inform you all about their newest e-book, throughout which it’s regular so that you can stay fully silent. Bear in mind what they are saying and repeat it to the following particular person you meet, even when that particular person is a medical skilled at your subsequent appointment. This manner, your ophthalmologist will imagine you’re a giant reader.

Definitely put on glasses, or a couple of pair. Bully the ophthalmologist into providing you with a prescription, or two.

Purchase books all the time from a variety of sources. Purchase used books and preorder books to insure that you’ve a relentless provide of books from the previous and the longer term.

Preserve books in outstanding locations all through your property and secure. One by the bathroom, a pair within the toaster, a bunch crammed into your pony’s saddlebags.

Carry a e-book round. Deliver one with you in these lengthy traces the place you catch COVID whereas ready to search out out when you’ve got COVID. Preserve shifting your purse with the heavy e-book in it from shoulder to shoulder as you stand among the many coughing and watch forty-five minutes of Instagram Reels that includes body-positive ladies consuming several types of buttered toast.

Obtain numerous audiobooks in order that once you’re caught on the F practice you possibly can you should definitely hearken to Adele on repeat.

Arrange an aggressively prolific profile on Goodreads. Username recommendations embrace YepIRedDat69 and HogwartsMoreLikeHogBooks.

When somebody asks when you’ve got learn a specific e-book, rapidly scream, “Sure!” Go on to say that it was good and that you just appreciated the characters and the font. Ominously add, “I imply, it’s extra well timed than ever when you concentrate on . . . all this.” Waggle your eyebrows. Flip the interrogation round and ask the particular person if they’ve learn some other books. Allow them to speak for some time earlier than you excuse your self by saying that you just assume you heard your husband’s motorcycle exterior.

Take pictures of your books and submit them on social media captioned with the weeping emoji. Purchase a fairly matcha tea with a coronary heart within the foam and place it near a e-book. Seize a good-looking man’s out-of-focus shoulders within the background.

Write a e-book. Nothing will make you appear extra like a reader than being a author. Watch out to not learn your personal e-book too usually, however do attempt to go over it a couple of times earlier than it’s revealed.

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